As I said I was directly participating in the service as I was asked to write a biography for Brad. So I thought I would share it all for you.
I was
asked to tell you about Brad. A biography of sorts. And, I mean, who better to
tell you than his wife. I know everything about him.
A
farmboy from birth and at heart, Brad was raised in the heart of oil country
and boasts the city of champions (cough 1990 cough) This farmboy gathered eggs
with his grandma Reid, narrowly escaped a raging bee hive, outwitted his brother more than once and on halloween he had to ride in a
car to the different houses to go trick or treating. He loved the freedom his
bike gave him and took advantage of it by riding to town to blow , I
mean, invest his allowance on comic books.
A move
to the “big” city in grade 4 was the first marker of God’s hand in Brad’s life.
That was a hard year for him. New neighbourhood, new teacher, new school. It
was challenging, but looking back one can see the ground work being laid before
him. Once he adjusted to his new normal he went about the things boys or
brothers do. Tormenting his sisters and wrestling with his brother.
Brad
played in his highschool band and loved it but highschool also presented
more challenges leading to a dark and down time for Brad. The Lord placed a
wonderful man in Brad’s path. His gym teacher. He saw the darkness Brad was in
and wanted him to see the light of Christ. This man invited Brad to his church,
to the youth event that week. Brad went because… what else was he going to do? Attendance
led to involvement, led to leadership, led to…turning down UVIC music program
to go to bible college.
Brad
wasn’t aware of the unwritten rule that you go to bible school to find a spouse
so he focused his energies on his studies…… on late night Wendy’s runs, and
nerf gun wars with these guys. You know, the important stuff. At the
end of school was a posting for a job for a youth pastor in a small town just a
couple hours south of his hometown.
Two
and a half years there and he learned so much about himself and his ministry.
He learned more of his gifts, he learned to stand up for himself, he learned
about what kind of pastor he wanted to be. He left that small town and moved to
the real “big” city. And met me. End of story…
One
thing Brad is not is slow. Once he decides what he wants he wastes little time
in going after it.
At his
new job he met a young woman and one night at an Alpha prayer meeting she won
him over with a joke about George Bush and dimpled chads. One awkward phone
conversation later and they were on their first date. Coffee was planned and if
he decided it went well then dinner would follow. So essentially he scammed two
dates out of one. Tricksy fellow
Things
got delayed though as this young woman would be leaving town for the summer to
work at a camp five hours away. Never one to give up easily, Brad
continued to pursue her through emails. When the summer was over and she
returned home things became serious very quickly and within two months they
knew they were going to marry. A February engagement, a September wedding and
they were off and running. But, life is never easy and even though you truly
feel that God has brought you together it doesn’t mean that the waters will be
smooth. But, smooth waters never made experienced sailors.
Marriage
is hard enough by itself but add to it outside pressures and then events that
happen within the marriage that can either tear you to shreds or tie you
together in a life-saving knot.
In one
year we saw loss. Traumatic loss. Life sucking loss. “Why God?” loss. While I
crumpled into a heap Brad stayed. He stayed focused, stayed loving, stayed
sacrificial, stayed true.
Because
that is who he is.
After
the year of loss we experienced life. Beautiful, pure, healing life.
And yet, the world around us, the bubble our life focused on was
disintegrating. And you start to wonder…how long will you wait while the ship
is sinking before you jump? Or. Do you run below and feverishly work to try to
repair the holes, or just keep the other passengers aboard dry and feeling
safe, feeling loved, feeling led to calmer waters.
If you
consider each stage of Brad’s life to be one that is life altering then Brad’s
life on the farm would be when he discovered his sense of play, his curiosity
and his elementary years was when he discovered his ability to be brave. His
highschool years, he discovered his ability to overcome. (it actually gives me
the image of the black knight from monty python’s holy grail- no limbs but
still fighting)- “tis but a scratch”
Bible
school he rediscovered his sense of play and began to unwrap his theology. His
first full ministry job he discovered his ability to defend himself and others.
This last turn he discovered his ability to endure and to rise above.
All
these things come in very handy when you are in ministry.
In our
ten years together the biggest things I have learned from Brad are how to forgive,
how to love, how to lead, and how to finish well. He is fair and honourable, a
trait that has frustrated me more than once when I know he has been hurt by
someone and he is diplomatic and gracious in his response. Mama bear here wants
to tear them to shreds. He has said that showing mercy is low on his list of
gifts but I have seen him dig deep to show that particular kindness more than
once.
I
haven’t even touched yet on his ability as a dad. Humility is the first word
that comes to mind. He is NOT a perfect dad. No one is a perfect parent. He
recognizes his mistakes and seeks forgiveness and by extension of that he is
teaching it to our boys as well.
When
Carlon was first born Brad was breathless at the sheer joy of seeing his son
and being able to hold him. He delights in our boys. He laughs with
them, he tickles them, reads to them, helps them, corrects them, teaches them,
prays with them.
I know
what you all might be thinking now “wow, she has painted quite the picture.
Makes Brad out to be the perfect man”
Not at
all.
I
could give dirty details about his flaws, about our arguments,
about our disobedience towards God. But I am not up here to disrespect my
husband, the father of my children. I am here to tell you about the man I love.
The man God made for me, for my children. He is not perfect, no one is, but his
imperfections fit the puzzle of our family. It
is a puzzle with unfinished edges, it grows with our lives, with the grace of
our Lord.
