Because I love my husband

So, Brad's induction (sounds like labour) service or installment (sounds like vehicle repair) service as the new lead pastor at Zion church was yesterday. It was quite a deal and several people were involved in it including me. Brad gave emails to his associate pastor to contact our friends for encouraging words/comments about Brad to be read at the service. It was... overwhelming. The kind words that came were amazing. I made the joke that you have to leave town or be dead to find out what people really think of you. We know for sure now. If you you are reading and you are one who sent out those words, thank you. It was a blessing.
As I said I was directly participating in the service as I was asked to write a biography for Brad. So I thought I would share it all for you.

I was asked to tell you about Brad. A biography of sorts. And, I mean, who better to tell you than his wife. I know everything about him.

A farmboy from birth and at heart, Brad was raised in the heart of oil country and boasts the city of champions (cough 1990 cough) This farmboy gathered eggs with his grandma Reid, narrowly escaped a raging bee hive, outwitted his brother more than once and on halloween he had to ride in a car to the different houses to go trick or treating. He loved the freedom his bike gave him and took advantage of it by riding to town to blow , I mean, invest his allowance on comic books.

A move to the “big” city in grade 4 was the first marker of God’s hand in Brad’s life. That was a hard year for him. New neighbourhood, new teacher, new school. It was challenging, but looking back one can see the ground work being laid before him. Once he adjusted to his new normal he went about the things boys or brothers do. Tormenting his sisters and wrestling with his brother.

Brad played in his highschool band and loved it but highschool also presented more challenges leading to a dark and down time for Brad. The Lord placed a wonderful man in Brad’s path. His gym teacher. He saw the darkness Brad was in and wanted him to see the light of Christ. This man invited Brad to his church, to the youth event that week. Brad went because… what else was he going to do? Attendance led to involvement, led to leadership, led to…turning down UVIC music program to go to bible college.

Brad wasn’t aware of the unwritten rule that you go to bible school to find a spouse so he focused his energies on his studies…… on late night Wendy’s runs, and nerf gun wars with these guys. You know, the important stuff. At the end of school was a posting for a job for a youth pastor in a small town just a couple hours south of his hometown.

Two and a half years there and he learned so much about himself and his ministry. He learned more of his gifts, he learned to stand up for himself, he learned about what kind of pastor he wanted to be. He left that small town and moved to the real “big” city. And met me. End of story…

One thing Brad is not is slow. Once he decides what he wants he wastes little time in going after it.

At his new job he met a young woman and one night at an Alpha prayer meeting she won him over with a joke about George Bush and dimpled chads. One awkward phone conversation later and they were on their first date. Coffee was planned and if he decided it went well then dinner would follow. So essentially he scammed two dates out of one. Tricksy fellow

Things got delayed though as this young woman would be leaving town for the summer to work at a camp five hours away. Never one to give up easily, Brad continued to pursue her through emails. When the summer was over and she returned home things became serious very quickly and within two months they knew they were going to marry. A February engagement, a September wedding and they were off and running. But, life is never easy and even though you truly feel that God has brought you together it doesn’t mean that the waters will be smooth. But, smooth waters never made experienced sailors.

Marriage is hard enough by itself but add to it outside pressures and then events that happen within the marriage that can either tear you to shreds or tie you together in a life-saving knot.

In one year we saw loss. Traumatic loss. Life sucking loss. “Why God?” loss. While I crumpled into a heap Brad stayed. He stayed focused, stayed loving, stayed sacrificial, stayed true.

Because that is who he is.

After the year of loss we experienced life. Beautiful, pure, healing life. And yet, the world around us, the bubble our life focused on was disintegrating. And you start to wonder…how long will you wait while the ship is sinking before you jump? Or. Do you run below and feverishly work to try to repair the holes, or just keep the other passengers aboard dry and feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling led to calmer waters.

If you consider each stage of Brad’s life to be one that is life altering then Brad’s life on the farm would be when he discovered his sense of play, his curiosity and his elementary years was when he discovered his ability to be brave. His highschool years, he discovered his ability to overcome. (it actually gives me the image of the black knight from monty python’s holy grail- no limbs but still fighting)- “tis but a scratch”

Bible school he rediscovered his sense of play and began to unwrap his theology. His first full ministry job he discovered his ability to defend himself and others. This last turn he discovered his ability to endure and to rise above.

All these things come in very handy when you are in ministry.

In our ten years together the biggest things I have learned from Brad are how to forgive, how to love, how to lead, and how to finish well. He is fair and honourable, a trait that has frustrated me more than once when I know he has been hurt by someone and he is diplomatic and gracious in his response. Mama bear here wants to tear them to shreds. He has said that showing mercy is low on his list of gifts but I have seen him dig deep to show that particular kindness more than once.

I haven’t even touched yet on his ability as a dad. Humility is the first word that comes to mind. He is NOT a perfect dad. No one is a perfect parent. He recognizes his mistakes and seeks forgiveness and by extension of that he is teaching it to our boys as well.

When Carlon was first born Brad was breathless at the sheer joy of seeing his son and being able to hold him. He delights in our boys. He laughs with them, he tickles them, reads to them, helps them, corrects them, teaches them, prays with them.

I know what you all might be thinking now “wow, she has painted quite the picture. Makes Brad out to be the perfect man”

Not at all.

I could give dirty details about his flaws, about our arguments, about our disobedience towards God. But I am not up here to disrespect my husband, the father of my children. I am here to tell you about the man I love. The man God made for me, for my children. He is not perfect, no one is, but his imperfections fit the puzzle of our family. It is a puzzle with unfinished edges, it grows with our lives, with the grace of our Lord.